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Dating in California


Meeting quality single people is difficult in Los Angeles. Everyone is so busy, and the people you meet at bars and club may not exactly be what you would consider “quality”.

But, there are actually plenty of people in the same boat who want to meet quality singles, but who don’t necessarily want to do the club/bar scene.  Here are the top ways I’ve discovered to meet quality single people in L.A.

1. Volunteer

It’s hard to think of a place where you’d meet a better type of person than at a volunteer event. There are tons of great young single people who sacrifice their nights and even weekends to volunteer. Here are some places to volunteer:

Hope for LA: Has a calendar where you can sign up for volunteer opportunities around L.A.

Serve LA: Meetup group with various volunteer opportunities.

The Compton Initiative: This is a HUGE event that happens every few months. The goal is to beautify parts of the Compton community. Lots of singles in their 20’s and 30’s show up.

Heal the Bay: Has volunteer cleanup events.

The Sierra Club Los Angeles: Volunteer to help the environment in Los Angeles.

Orange County Sierra Singles: For singles in O.C.

Habitat for Humanity

Of course there are many, many more volunteer organizations, ranging from political, environmental, animal rescue and so forth.  Just Google what you’re interested in and you’re bound to find a cause that interests you in L.A.

I’ve been impressed at how many young single women are at these volunteer events. At many volunteer events I’ve been to, it’s been mostly single women there. Guys, time to step it up! Not only will you be doing something good for the world, but you could meet someone special.

2. Meetup Groups

If you’re not doing Meetup groups, you’re missin gone of the easiest ways to meet single people. Sure, sometimes the events are lame, and maybe the folks that show up are not exactly your cup of tea, but stick with it and find a Meetup that fits your demographic.  Just sign up for a group that matches your interest (hiking or photography or whatever), or go straight these Meetup groups which have a very high percentage of singles:

Los Angeles Single Professionals & Friends

LA Smart Singles

Mix Professionals with Fun Events

Connect Singles

No Flake Singles and Friends LA

Los Angeles Free Concerts

Even if you don’t meet someone special, these often meet in cool venues (hip restaurants and bars) that are fun to discover and experience.

What I’d like to emphasize with Meetup groups is to give them a chance. You might go once or even twice and think a group is lame, but stick with it!  Or try a different Meetup group.  Good people do show up to these!

3. Churches or Religious Organizations

If you think that only your grandma and old people go to church in L.A., think again. Many of today’s churches cater to young people and feel more like rock concerts than church. Here are some churches in L.A. with lots of young people:

Pacific Crossroads Church: Very highly-educated congregation of young professionals in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s (and very few older folks).  Modern worship.  Meets in Santa Monica and downtown L.A.

Mosaic: Worship in the heart of Hollywood that resembles a rock concert, but with solid preaching. Much of the congregation consists of young singles with a lot of artistic types.

Reality LA: Also in Hollywood with lots of young single folks.

Bel Air Prebyterian Church:  Has a large singles group called “The Foundry” that is pretty famous among young church-goers, 18-35 years old.

Core Church LA: Located off of La Cienega near the 10 freeway. I’ve never been to this one but could be interesting.

The Loft LA:  Small church in mid-Wilshire consisting of almost all 20’s and 30’s singles.

Saddleback Church:  Huge mega-church in Orange County led by Rick Warren.  All ages, with a variety of services including one that has modern music.

St. Monica Catholic Community:  I’m not Catholic, but many people have told me that this church in Santa Monica has great events for singles.

Please note that is hard to meet people by simply going to church on Sundays. There are just too many people and Sunday service is not conducive to meeting them. Your best bet for meeting people is to join a smaller church group that meets outside of church.

Of course, I don’t suggest that you go to a religious organization just to meet dates, but if you are religiously inclined, maybe you should consider it. There are definitely lots of quality single people there.

How about temples and other religious organizations?  Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

4. Athletic Teams or Clubs

Want to meet single people who are in good shape?  Join a sports team or club!  No, I’m not talking about joining a gym, but more an actual team. Here are some ideas:

Volleyball: I joined a volleyball class at Santa Monica College, and it was filled with young single people. Even better would be to join a beach volleyball team.

Kick Boxing

Kickball: I didn’t even know they had kickball for adults, but a friend of mine is on a team and she loves it.




Biking: Check out Cyclavia.

5K Races: Even if you’re not in great shape, you can run a 5K with a little training. There are plenty of “couch-to-5K” programs out there.  These races always have lots of young, fit professionals.

Search on Google for more information on sports that you are interested in.

5. Continuing Education Classes

If you want to meet people interested in the same hobbies or topics as you are, try taking a class. Community colleges have really inexpensive classes. Just be sure to take a class that is truly useful or interesting to you though, as there may or may not be single people there, depending on what topic you choose.

Santa Monica College Community Education:  The intro photography class there (with Larry Jones) is famous for being entertaining and filled with single people (many women).

Cooking classes

Art classes: Check out these “paint and wine” classes.

6. Singles Events

Maybe singles events have a little bit of stigma to them, but if you get over that, these can be a great way to meet people because everyone’s there for the same reason: to meet other single people. Here are some examples:

Although I’m not a huge fan of online dating, I am a fan of Match’s Stir events.  These are real-life mixers that happen in hip venues all around Los Angeles and Orange County.  These are worth the price of Match membership (plus the event fee, usually somewhere around $10).It’s really easy to meet other single people at these events.

Speed Dating: I’ve never done this but I know people who swear by it. 

Lock and Key:  Men get keys, women get locks, and you try to find your match. VIP Social Events hosts some of these events.

7. Networking Events

Networking is a good thing. You might find a new friend, business contact, or someone special.  Go with an open mind and try to meet people of all types.  Check online for networking events in your profession, or alumni events.  Here are a few more suggestions:

Ivy Plus Society: This is a networking event for young alumni of highly-ranked universities, but actually anyone can join (no one checks to see where you graduated from).  This is not a singles event per se, but there are a lot of single people at these events, and it’s pretty easy to meet people.  One young woman even admitted to me that she was there because she liked “smart guys”.

Eventbrite: Has events of all kinds, from professional to hobbyist, and including singles events like speed dating. Sign up for their newsletter for events in your area.

8. Partner Dancing

Although there is a somewhat steep barrier to entry (i.e., actually learning how to dance), partner dancing is a great way to meet single people, if you are willing to devote the time required.  Guys, you’ll have to invest some serious time and effort to take classes, but it’s worth it.  Women are more likely to be able to just show up and learn on the spot, although it’s best to take lessons. Salsa and Swing dance events have tons of single people of all ages!

See these resources to find places to do partner dancing:

SwingDance.LA for Swing dancing events.  For lessons go here.

Viva Salsera for Salsa

Salsa Hook for Salsa

For older singles, there are also ballroom and Tango dance events.

This might sound crazy, but don’t rule out country line dancing (yes, it exists in L.A.)  The most famous place that I know of is Cowboy Country Saloon in Long Beach.  There are single people of all ages there and free lessons before the band goes on.  It’s pretty fun if you don’t take yourself too seriously.

9. Throw a Party

So far, I’ve been listing outside places and events to go to. But why not create your own fun? Hosting a party is a great way to meet new people if you can encourage your friends to bring their friends. t also makes you look really good, because as the host, you have high social proof.

I get the best results in terms of fun and participation if I pick a wacky theme for my party. Once the date is set, just Google that date to see what that date is famous for.  In my case, the party fell on National Milkshake Day, so we served burgers and milkshakes while playing rockabilly music in the background and we encouraged everyone to dress 50’s.  It was a huge hit!

It almost doesn’t matter what the theme is:  it could be Chinese New Year, Peruvian Independence Day, national Salami day, or whatever. The important thing is to pick a theme! It makes it so much more fun and guides you on how to decorate and what food to serve. And, you’ll get a lot more interest than if you just a have generic party.

10. Utilize and Expand Your Network of Friends

My final suggestion is to stretch your boundaries and utilize your existing friend network. You know that party that someone invited you to, but you don’t know anyone else there?  Well, go to that party. Same with that wedding, where you only know the bride or groom and no one else. Go to that wedding. You know those annoying Facebook events that people keep inviting you to and that you keep deleting? Go to those Facebook events. Utilize your network of friends to meet new ones.  I know it’s hard to go to an event when you only know one person, but these are actually golden opportunities to meet new people.

But when you go, make it your first priority to have fun, not necessarily to meet someone. A person having fun is attractive, and worst case, you’ll have a good time and some good practice for the next event!

BONUS: Walk a Dog

Having a dog forces you to get out of the house at least once a day and gives you the opportunity to meet other animal lovers in your neighborhood. It’s a great ice-breaker and gives you something to talk about. If you don’t have a dog, I’m sure you have friends who’d love to let you walk theirs!

What do you think of these ideas?  Any other good places to meet quality single people in Los Angeles that you know of? – Brian

From Source


7 этапов отношений или Когда приходит настоящая любовь


1. Конфетно-букетный этап длится приблизительно 18 месяцев.

Когда мужчина и женщина встречают друг друга и влюбляются, у них в организме вырабатываются определенные гормоны, которые окрашивают мир в яркие цвета. В этот момент все в человеке кажется прекрасным: внешность, голос, даже недостатки характера кажутся удивительными. Человек словно находится в состоянии наркотического опьянения. В этот период ни в коем случае не следует принимать какие-либо судьбоносные решения, так как действие этого наркотика рано или поздно закончится и все встанет круги своя.

Но все-таки конфетно-букетный период – один из самых романтичных и трогательных в отношениях мужчины и женщины. Если вы мечтаете продлить или вспомнить этот этап отношений, то вам помогут Карты «50 оригинальных свиданий»!

2. Следующий этап – это этап пресыщения.

Чувства умиротворяются, вы начинаете трезво оценивать плюсы и минусы вашего партнера. Вы начинаете привыкать друг к другу, ведете себя более естественно и раскованно.

3. Третий этап – отвращение.

Он обязателен для любых продолжительных отношений. На фазе отвращения начинаются ссоры, вы как будто вам концентрируетесь исключительно на недостатках друг друга. Самый легкий и самый плохой выход из этого – это расставание или развод. Что в этом плохого? Кроме того, что вы откажитесь от проверенных временем отношений, вы в скором времени  вступите в конфетно-букетный этап с другим партнером, и все начнется сначала.

Бесспорно, есть люди, которые так и зацикливаются на этих трех этапах. В Ведах эти этапы относятся к низшему уровню, свойственные ограниченным людям, так как в настоящие отношения они еще не вступали.

4. Следующий этап –  это терпение.

Ссоры и размолвки между партнерами случаются, но они уже не носят такой фатальный характер, так как оба знают, что ссора закончится, а отношения снова восстановятся. Если партнеры прикладывают усилия по развитию терпения, то вместе с терпением к ним приходит и мудрость. Это закон природы. Итак, на этом этапе партнеры приобретают мудрость.

5. Пятый этап – этап долга или уважения. Это еще и первая стадия любви!

На самом деле, до этого любви еще не было. На этом этапе каждый партнер начинает думать не о том, что ему должны, а о том, что он сам должен делать для своего любимого человека. Внимание к  своим обязанностям развивает нас.

6. Шестой этап – это дружба.

Вы по-настоящему стали близки и дороги друг другу. Вы доверяете друг другу, как самым близким друзьям. Дружба – это серьезная подготовка к любви.

7. Седьмой этап – это любовь.

Настоящая любовь – это непросто. К ней идут очень длительное время. Любви обучаются через всевозможные жизненные ситуации в долгосрочных и близких отношениях. Настоящая любовь – это не то, что сваливается внезапно к нам на голову, как принято считать. Для настоящей, взрослой любви мы зреем, отказываясь от эгоизма и предрассудков.

Мы сами выбираем своего мужа или жену. Но чтобы испытать настоящую любовь в семейной жизни, нужно хорошо познакомиться друг с другом, затем подружиться, а потом уже и полюбить. Многие пары считают любовью первый конфетно-букетный период. Но как только романтика уходит, а розовые очки спадают, начинаются первые сложности, первые испытания отношений. А кто-то считает – любовь прошла.

В любви есть все вкусы: сладкий и соленый, терпкий и вяжущий, горький и даже кислый. А преданность и терпение – это главные качества любви. Если вы решили, что в ваших отношениях  «любовь закончилась», будьте уверены, что она еще и не начиналась!


9 Steps To Setting And Reaching Relationship Goals.


One powerful to make sure that you're doing all that you can to attract the love life you truly desire is to take an honest look at your relationship values to make sure that they are moving you toward what you want and away from what you don't want? Your Experts have outlined a list of ways to help you set and, importantly, reach your love life goals. Don't wait, get going living your best love life now!

1. Start with this goal-setting exercise.
First, make a list of what is important to you in an intimaterelationship? Be very specific and focus on what you need to be happy, feel satisfied and to be truly connected to another human being. Rank the list in order of importance—rank things that are "non-negotiable" at the top and those that are of lesser importance below.

Then, while looking at the list and ask yourself, "Why is this important to me?" Notice the language you use. Does it make you feel good, or is it associated with something hurtful or undesirable from the past? If it's attached to the past, write down the negative emotion you are avoiding. Is there anger, sadness, guilt, hurt or shame associated with that value?

Next bring back to mind the role model you highlighted for yourself yesterday. Make a list of what you believe his/her values are in relationship. What is important to him/her? What does he/she need?

Now go through the list and ask yourself, "Do I hold/have this quality?" If not, how can you cultivate it? Focus on actions you can take to embody these qualities. Are there values you hold that are getting in the way of a healthy relationship? Perhaps now is a good time to release them for your highest good.

2. Make goals specific, measurable and attach a deadline.It's not a good feeling when we set goals and don't reach them. So how can you improve your chances of realizing your relationship goals this year? With details and accountability. Instead of, "Get more serious with my boyfriend" or "Start dating again by fall," try "Be engaged by June 1st" or "Go on six dates by October 10th." Goal-setting is no place for timidity, so be bold and say the thing you really want, without worrying about the "how." If you declare it, the how will come.

3. Imagine what life is like when you've achieved it.What are you doing, how do you look and feel, where are you? Work backwards from this vision to design a plan of action to realize the goal by your chosen date. Put this plan where you can see it, moving it regularly so it remains visible.

4. Ask for help when you need it.If you feel yourself stopped by procrastination or fear, enroll a buddy with similar goals to keep you on track, or hire a coach to support you to shift limiting beliefs and patterns.

5. Throughout, take care of your well-being.Do things that make you feel calm and joyful, a fullness that will carry over to your dating life or partner.

6. Create a vision board.First, define your vision for your ideal partner, if single, or your ideal partnership, if you're already in a relationship. What are the qualities you're seeking, and of those characteristics, which of those needs are negotiable versus deal breakers? Break out your "inner child" and create a collage or mobile representing this vision by cutting out words, pictures, and symbols from magazines that resonate with these desires and affixing them to a big poster board. Post the vision board in a location of your home where you'll view it every day and ask yourself each morning, "What will I do today that will take me one step closer to achieving this particular vision?" And then commit yourself to doing it.

7. Establish a "Relationship Pow-Wow."To ensure your goals don't get forgotten or misguided, you and your partner can establish a regularly scheduled "couple's meeting" during which you discuss your relationship and the status of your goals. It's a time to talk about what's going well, what's not going so well, your dreams and goals, your progress with stated goals, etc. The Pow-Wow is a great way to stay accountable to your relationship goals, so stay true to the process and don't skip any meetings!

8. Don't get overwhelmed.If your goals start to feel daunting, try to break them down into smaller steps that you feel more at ease achieving. Keep your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, & Timely).

9. Celebrate your successes.Build in incentives and/or consequences for meeting your objectives along the way for motivation enhancement. Setting and meeting goals is truly something to celebrate.


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Laws of Attraction


Before you go out

1. The "Game" begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmenand to places you like helps with this.) If you've been circling around, acting nervous, or standing alone, you'll need to have the skills to get the girl once you approach.
2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can't avoid this - if you dress to blend in, she'll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in.
You see a beautiful woman...3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will - eventually - take care of itself. Get this down until it's automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don't skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don't have this, you'll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place.
The first few seconds...5. Body language - this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don't fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Love Systems has trained tens of thousands of men in person over the last 7 years. Almost all of them started off speaking too softly whenapproaching women.Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your "chest voice" (Google it) and not your "head voice."

7. Don't "milk" the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That's crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as "the guy I talked to about such-and-such."
Getting into the conversation...8. Be FUN. Don't be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you're having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious...

9. ... butdon't be a dancing monkey.You're not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don't try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun includestorytelling,teasing, androle plays.It's okay if you prefer one or two of these - each of these techniques has its own skill set. I do a lot of storytelling, some teasing, and a rare role play.Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid "interviews." Don't ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it's boring and a turnoff. It's also a waste - asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she's from,make a guess.Or tell her where you're from and she'll do the same.

12. Similarly, don't play tourist in her life. So you find out she's a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you're curious to know more. Save it. If she's attracted to you, you'll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you "run out of things to say." Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise.Be strict with yourself on this. Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it's permanent. That's doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn't take long - within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don't do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came. 14.Qualificationis the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you're not some fleeting guy... you're a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless.

Obviously, this is only scratching the surface.
If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don't even need to think about them anymore.



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